THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE IS A SET OF QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY THE FRENCH WRITER MARCEL PROUST, AND IS OFTEN USED BY MODERN INTERVIEWERS. PROUST BELIEVED, IN ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS, AN INDIVIDUAL REVEALS THEIR TRUE NATURE.
ZOETIC STAGE’S ARTISTIC DIRECTOR AND CO-FOUNDER, STUART MELTZER, HAS PUT HIS OWN SPIN ON THE QUESTIONNAIRE! FIND HIS Q&A WITH ZOETIC SCHMOETIC CAST MEMBER, GABRIELL SALGADO BELOW!
1. Why are you named your name? Because I’m an angel.
2. In what way are you like your mother? I look a lot like her!
3. First childhood memory? Light-up Spider Man shoes.
4. Were you breastfed? No.
5. What is your most flexible position? Legs open and my butt in the air!
6. M&M’s or Skittles? Skittles!
7. What names you were called as a kid in school? Jeeves.
8. Did your teeth have braces? Yes. Seven years!
9. Rugrats or Sponge Bob? Sponge Bob.
10. Describe your first kiss in one word. Pity.
11. Your favorite veggie? Zucchini.
12. Your least favorite veggie? Cauliflower.
13. Say a word that always makes you laugh. Crisp!
14. Favorite Star Wars character. Papa.
15. Favorite Prince song. When Doves Cry.
16. What book will you read again? The Picture of Dorian Gray.
17. What book is on your reading list? Your Soul’s Gift.
18. What book is on your reading list but you know you’ll never read? Your Soul’s Gift.
19. Do you floss? Twice a day.
20. Perfect slice of pizza? The works.
21. Favorite place to scratch? Gooch.
22. Decade you fit in best? 80’s.
23. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received? Now!!!!
24. Favorite US president? Obama!
25. Favorite Shakespeare sonnet?
That thou hast her it is not all my grief,
And yet it may be said I loved her dearly;
That she hath thee is of my wailing chief,
A loss in love that touches me more nearly.
Loving offenders thus I will excuse ye:
Thou dost love her, because thou know’st I love her;
And for my sake even so doth she abuse me,
Suffering my friend for my sake to approve her.
If I lose thee, my loss is my love’s gain,
And losing her, my friend hath found that loss;
Both find each other, and I lose both twain,
And both for my sake lay on me this cross:
But here’s the joy; my friend and I are one;
Sweet flattery! then she loves but me alone.
26. What vice would you like to give up? Giving up vices.
27. Favorite playwright? Michael McKeever.
28. Which Beatle do you identify with most? John.
29. Egg roll or scallion pancake? Egg roll.
30. What summer Olympic do you wish you could partake in? Long Jump.
31. Favorite funny person? Jim Carrey.
32. Favorite I love Lucy episode? Chocolate Factory.
33. What word do you feel foolish saying? Leotard.
34. Your cosmetic surgery will be? My jaw!
35. Character you identify with most in the film Clue? I’ve never seen the film Clue.
36. Favorite guilty pleasure film? Cable Guy.
37. With or without whipped cream? Without.
38. What is the most romantic gift you’ve ever received? A trip to Cuba.
39. Name a teacher who inspired you through positive energy? Patrice Bailey.
40. What is your news source? The pigeons.
41. How much did you weigh at birth? 8 lbs.
42. Would you ever do drag? I have. Her name was Tori.
43. Favorite Thanksgiving tradition? Spending most of the day driving.
44. What is one word that describes being a parent? Blame.
45. Finish this sentence. I get sad on Sunday afternoons when _________. I run out of Sunday.
46. Giraffes or elephants? Giraffes.
47. A reoccurring dream you have is what? The Purgatory Bar at 7 Deadly Sins.
48. Favorite real housewife? I hate ‘em all.
49. Matzo ball or wonton? Matzo ball.
50. What is your relationship to vulnerability? Hits me in the face every day.
51. Did you vote? Yes.
52. Top of toothpaste or bottom? Bottom.
53. What’s something you can’t do? “ I can’t Lie!!!!!!”
54. When you win the Nobel Prize it will be for… My documentary on Cuba.
55. Do you have a place that inspires you? New York.
56. Name three friends? Jaime. Nate. Melanie.
57. Name a celebrity crush. Georgia.
58. Finish this sentence: If I were not in show business, I’d be a ____________. A Bounty Hunter.
59. Name a moment when you were on stage that you will never forget? Running up in the play Street Scene about to murder my wife.
60. What method of acting do you use? Kitchen soup.
61. Old School or New School? Old School.
62. Funniest female body part? Adam’s apple.
63. Best thing about South Florida. The beaches.
64. Who would you like to work with outside of this community? Hugh Jackman.
65. Who would you like to work with inside of this community? Palm Beach DramaWorks.
66. Who would you like to work with you? Everyone.
67. What song puts you in the mood? Better G & R.
68. NSYNC or Back Street Boys? NSYNC.
69. If you could teach me one thing it would be… How to shoot a gun.
70. When was the last time you cried? Two days ago.
71. Pancakes, waffles, or French toast? Pancakes.
72. It’s 3:00 am and you’re in line at Taco Bell? What do you get? Crunchwrap Supreme.
73. Name your Drake song? Summer’s Over Interlude.
74. What pisses you off? Unprofessionalism.
75. Did you go away to sleep-away summer camp? Yes.
76. What is something awkward? First dates.
77. The last promise you broke. “Let’s hang out soon”.
78. Favorite August Wilson play? Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.
79. Do you pray? In my own way.
80. Have you killed an animal? Yes.
81. Name one word you’d like people to perceive of you. Responsible.
82. Favorite kind of pickle? Dill.
83. What is your relationship to satisfaction? I can’t get no….
84. Are you a good son? Yes. I am.
85. Game of Thrones or a game night with friends? Game night with friends.
86. Favorite Meryl Streep film. It’s Complicated.
87. Other than English, what language best describes your personality? Spanish.
88. What makes you a good friend? I give a lot of love, man.
89. A word that feels naughty when you say it? Penetrate.
90. What is the most money you’ve ever spent of a piece of clothing? $200.
91. Thus far, 2021 has been… Busy.
92. Are you good with money? Yes.
93. Something you want to work on in 2021. Consistency.
94. Finish this sentence. Nobody ever said being an adult would include…Heartburn.
95. Tea or coffee? Coffee.
96. Favorite funny noise to make? Chaguu.
97. Why do bad things happen to good people? Who says they are good people? And who says they are bad things?
98. What is the best thing about Halloween? Disguises.
99. Beyonce, Rihanna or Whitney? Rihanna.
100. What is your relationship to success? It teases me.
101. Flinstones or Jetsons? Flintstones.
102. One word that ignites stress. Freeze!
103. One word that ignites hope. Look!
104. One woman-leader who inspires you. Patrice Bailey.
105. What’s the perfect burger? Drunken Goat at Tap 42.
106. When did you know you were in love? When it hurt.
107. What does the word “care” mean to you? No matter what.
108. If these walls could talk, they would say… “Wow, this guy needs to figure his shit out”.
109. Favorite Sondheim? Sweeney Todd.
110. First Zoetic Stage Experience? The Caretaker.
111. What is your life motto? Live in the now.